Message to Queer/Trans Tweens: Finding Strength & Confidence

This is me in the fall of 1981, as i was turned 9 years old. The chocolate cupcakes were no surprise. Chocolate has been my favorite "junk food" since i was a child. (This is not originally a black & white photo. But the color was so "off" 40 years later that this was the only way to save an otherwise great picture.)

Hello there.

Thanks for coming to visit! Most of the stuff on Reflecting Rainbow Tweens & Teens is written for adults. Even so, I hope you get something out of being here.

What i want you to know is that i see you. So do a bunch of other adults. We know the struggles you're going through. Our experiences may be different from yours. But we know that your life can be both really great and really hard these days. We're so excited that many of you are able to know yourself, come out, and live openly. But we also know that many of you have families, schools, and communities that don’t support you.

If that makes you feel badly about yourself, i want you to know this: there is nothing wrong with you because you're queer or trans. The problem is all the adults who think you're a problem. That's especially true when those adults have power — like your parents, teachers, and lawmakers. But no matter what those adults might tell you, your identity is special.

There is a huge community of queer and trans adults, including me, ready to welcome you with open arms. If you don't know any of us yet, you will. And there are many adults, including straight and cisgender ones, who are fighting for your rights. If you don't know any of us yet, that doesn't mean we're not here.

Do you want me to send this website to anyone in your life? R2T2 exists to give adults information; I'm happy to let your important adults know that this resource is out there for them. You can give me their deets in this contact form.

If you ever feel like things are so bad that you can't make it through, please get help. There are crisis resources out there with folx ready to support you.

I want to assure you that it's going to get better for us all. It has before for queer and trans people, and it will again. Better days and stronger support may be just around the corner. There are many of us working hard to make that true.

(You can also check out this history-focused list for some of the other history-making people and movements that have helped shape queer and trans communities today.)

Always remember that you are worthy of love, affection, joy, and LIFE.

We will win; it's only a matter of time. Please stick around so you can see that day.

Sending you peace and striving for justice,

Shannon

PS If you're curious, in addition to the 5 photos below, you can find pictures of my teen self on this page. Ditto seeing my adult self on this page.

For all of them, hover your mouse over any of the visible pictures and you'll find left/right arrows about halfway down the photo "boxes," on the far left side. And at below the pictures, you'll see a "Play slideshow" button, which will scroll slowly through the images.

This is me in the fall of 1981, as i was turned 9 years old. The chocolate cupcakes were no surprise. Chocolate has been my favorite "junk food" since i was a child. (This is not originally a black & white photo. But the color was so "off" 40 years later that this was the only way to save an otherwise great picture.)
Me in the fall of 1982 on Halloween, when i was 10. I was dressed as Annie, a musical that was my childhood obsession. We did not do store-bought costumes, which were MUCH less common then.
Pictured here at 10, i went to two Catholic schools growing up. I was at Our Lady of Providence from 1st-4th grade. Undoubtedly everyone in the class had a picture taken in just this spot. For an elementary school class of pre-pubescent children, the teacher might have done better to not put the construction paper letters quite so high. Yes, i'm short but not THAT short!
Here i am at my second Catholic school, Visitation Academy, which i attended from 5th-12th grade. I was 10 or 11 and had taken my camera to school on this day. I still have the pictures of teachers and students i'd taken. It's too bad this one is kind of blurry of me because it's really cute. Also, i LOVED art, the classroom where this was taken. I remember making those toothpick sculptures behind me.
Here i am at 13. I was not a girly-girl by any stretch of the imagination. But i'm pretty sure i either selected or approved the flowered curtains and bedspread. And i know i chose the highly decorated ceiling fan above me.

(I was unsuccessful at finding a similar ceiling fan online But what i did learn is that you should not display your white ceiling fans against a white background.)