Photo by Rosemary Ketchum.
(For how i crafted these quotes, see What i changed in survey-takers' responses and What i didn't change.)
LGBQA+/ SGL adults
"i find that i am always more comfortable with people whom i share an identity with, especially since i know some lgbtqia+ people dont think aro/ace people deserve to be in the community."
"Sharing experiences is really powerful. It's so important be able to relate to others, and the best part of connecting with other queer individuals is getting to share one's story with someone who has had similar unique challenges and experiences."
"I already like my queer male therapist a lot more than my old queer female therapist. I feel like I connect to him more since I'm a trans man."
Trans adults
"i've only met one trans adult in person and they were non-binary like me. it felt so much easier to talk to them because i didn't have to hold back my personality."
"I prefer to confide in adults who are also trans because I feel like they aren't inherently uncomfortable with who I am."
"They understand and their criticism is not an implication of my gender identity of being invalid but a true and honest critique. As when I come to them with how my home, school, physical and mental life is there is no fear that has often come to fruition with cis people of them saying if I wasn't trans it would be easier and I will end up de-transitioning in a few years."
"I am trans and having trans adults in my life to speak to about trans issues is healing."
"I always get so excited to meet another trans person because it's nice to see others like me and to be able to talk to someone who has shared my experiences."
"I feel like cis people are still in a gender 101 class, whereas a lot of trans people are getting gender master's degrees."
LGBQA+/ SGL and/ or trans adults
"in general i just have a much easier time connecting with other queer people. part of that is just having a shared context, some commonality to connect over. visible non-cisness signals someone who understands one of my most life defining perspectives already."
"Adults that share the same perspective have often struggled with the same things, and know how to get through things. They also don't try to push a certain perspective on you."
"I think the fear of talking to someone who doesn't share your identity is that you will be vulnerable with them only for them to not understand or sympathize with you."
"They actually get the exact issues and problems. They know how pained and hurt we are, how frustrated we are at the world. They can help us through it all."
"I'd like to be able to confide in queer and trans adults because they have a better capacity to empathize with my problems. It just isn't the same with cis and heterosexual adults. I think I'd feel a lot more comfortable with queer and trans adults, I feel confidence that they'll keep me safe and won't ever judge me. I wish I could've had queer and trans adults to look up to growing up (I'm almost 18)."
"They likely know what invasive inappropriate questions not to ask and they will respect me as I am."
"I wouldn't be discriminated against, there wouldn't be the whole 'but are you SURE??' thing, and we'd be able to relate to each other's experiences."
"I prefer to talk to queer/trans adults abt my identity because they understand. A cishet person isn't going to always get the fear and issues."
"These identity traits greatly shape who I am, how I interact with others, and how my life works. You have to feel safe and seen to be able to confide, and I feel safe with people who share my identity traits."
"It is so much easier to discuss queer experiences with LGBTQ adults. There's a sort of deeper understanding."
"They don't question my experience. I can skip the long process of explaining myself and be understood from the start. It's very comforting and takes less energy."
"If our brains work the same it's gonna be easier to talk to them lol."
"It's a lot easier to confide in someone when you don't have to explain every little thing, nor feel like if you give too much you will be invalidated because they know what it is like!"
"They are more likely to support you but so long as they are supportive it's fine if they are cishet white men even."
"Adults who share the same identities help me to understand that even with everything I can survive to adulthood."
We'll follow your example.
"You are our leaders, and we the next generation."
"They're the ones who can truly provide guidance to trans and queer youth like me."
"We look up to them and try to emulate them. If we see lgbtq+ adults who define themselves and their sexuality/gender through alcohol and sex, we're gonna do the same."
