![A sign at an evening protest reads, "Sad! [crossed out] Furious.* *Not a paid protester. Proud mom of a GREAT trans kid."](https://reflectingrainbowtweensandteens.lgbt/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/2017.02.22-ProtectTransKids-Protest-Washington-DC-USA-01097.jpg)
"2017.02.22 ProtectTransKids Protest, Washington, DC USA 01097" by tedeytan is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0
(For how i crafted these quotes, see What i changed in survey-takers' responses and What i didn't change.)
Adults overall
Love me no matter what.
Talk with us, not at us.
Listen to understand, not to question. We need to be "genuinely heard." "Ask questions, but don't force answers."
Believe us.
I need you to grasp and accept my needs.
Keep an open mind. Don't judge me. But if you're judging me, keep it to yourself.
Don't tell me about all the things I might be missing out on, like dating.
Don't keep asking me about when I'm going to get a partner!
Don't use terms for me like "guys," "girls," "dude," or "queen" if those don't match my identity.
Talk outside "the bounds of the gender binary."
Celebrate milestones with me. When you do, I know that you see me.
Don't treat me any differently when I'm passing as straight compared to when I'm doing something that's more overtly queer.
"Understand how bad mental health can be in times of loneliness and dysphoria."
When I'm really upset by my gender dysphoria, don't tell me I'm being overly dramatic or rude. "Help me get to a less crowded and more private safe place, and try to help me calm down whether that be by giving me space or grounding techniques like breathing."
"There's no set group of outward signs of someone being gay. Believe someone when they say they are or aren't."
Parents
If you and your kid have a faith that relies on gendered practices, let your kid participate with the gendered group that matches their identity.
Help me access gender-affirming healthcare.
We need you to approve of us, respect us, and help us — even if you're skeptical.
Specific examples
My mother and other straight, cis adults do things like "research into safe binder brands or androgynous makeup brands."
My father and some of my older coworkers call me things like "buddy" and other masculine terms for kids. They accept that I am who I say I am and pass on resources that they think might give me additional windows into myself.
My mom helped me prep and pay for surgery and to recover from it.
When I first came out, I got a pair of rainbow socks and was so happy that I cried.
