Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash.
(For how i crafted these quotes, see What i changed in survey-takers' responses and What i didn't change.)
Adults overall
You need to respect my pronouns.
You can't reduce my identity to my pronouns.
For me, pronouns are interchangeable.
I dress femininely, but that doesn't make me femme. You don't get to use she/her/hers pronouns for me. I use he/they.
"They try to call me the right pronouns but also tell me ways being queer could negatively effect my life like I don't know."
"I will tell someone my pronouns are he/him and they start using they/them. I often feel like in an effort to seem supportive, someone uses they/them but refuses to use he/him because they refuse to see me as a guy. They don't take me seriously and treat it as something I'll get over, but still want to do the 'right thing' in others' eyes. So I get this half-assed support."
Pronoun mistakes
Since I know you're trying so hard, please know that it's okay if you make a mistake sometimes.
When you get my pronouns wrong, correct yourself (it's a way of showing you care). "When you mess up my pronouns, it's a 3 step process: apologize, correct yourself, and move the heck on with your day. If I'm comforting you because you misgendered me, something's gone wrong here."
"Over-apologizing causes a lot of discomfort for LGBTQ students/youth."
Correct other people if you hear them use the wrong pronouns if I'm to nervous to do that myself. And correct them when I'm not there, too.
Parents
"Many people in my life support me being a lesbian. But not many understand that I think I'd like to go by more than just she/her pronouns because then I won't be their 'little girl' anymore."
"I think every parent should listen to their child and use whatever pronouns the child prefers because it can sometimes be life saving."
Other relatives
"Do mind exercises and prepare yourself to talk to me. Beat my pronouns into your brain because it feels like a stab in the heart when my relatives forget."
