Collaborate with your queer or trans young person on what you share on social media about them, including both what you write and the photos or videos you post. (This is actually critical for all tweens and teens.) Consent is not optional!
- Consider this before you share your kids' photos on social media without their consent
- How to Safely Share Photos of Your Child on Social Media
- Why I Ask My Kids For Their Permission Before Posting Photos Of Them Online
Relatedly, for those of you parenting TGNC young people, talk with them about whether they're comfortable with you sharing pre-transition photos of them. If they say that they are, check in with them about each picture. A “Sure, Mom” today is not necessarily approval for every toddler photo you might want to share in the future.
And i do want to pause here to acknowledge how hard it might be to hear a “No” to this question. You likely have years worth of adorable pictures of your child before they came out to you. And perhaps you love sharing them on birthdays or other important occasions. This may be something you have to give up, at least temporarily. Your grief over this is legitimate and understandable. See more in the section on being compassionate with yourself.
Additionally, if you're fostering, make sure you to check with your local child welfare agency on their social media policy for foster children.
As with all young people, your queer or trans child may need guidance around how to use social media safely for two reasons:
- Because the internet is critical in LGBTQA+/SGL people connecting with each other; and
- Because it's a space where queer and trans tweens and teens may face harassment for their identities.
You may need to work through with them when and how to come out online. If they confront backlash or any kind of harassment, discuss with them whether they should set up a new social media presence where they do not not have to interact with their cyberbullies. This is probably not a prospect that many young people would love. So this possibility may be one to have a therapist discuss with your child -- or perhaps you and your child discuss it together with a therapist.
- Online Communities and LGBTQ+ Youth
- Report: These 5 Social Media Platforms Fail To Keep LGBTQ+ Users Safe
- Social media can be a safe space for LGBTQ youth
- Social media gives support to LGBTQ youth when in-person communities are lacking
- Social Media Insights From Sexuality and Gender Diverse Young People During COVID-19 (PDF)
- Trans Youth and the Importance of Sharing Transgender-Affirming Resources on Social Media
- Yes, Social Media is Terrible — Unless You're Young and Queer
- Youth, Pride, and the Digital Divide: Keeping Today's LGBTQ Youth Connected and Safe
