You have uniquely powerful role to play. You can do both kinds of
"reflecting" of the queer and trans tweens and teens in your school. Embrace that role with gusto and humility.
For LGBTQA+/SGL educators in a safe school and community
- If so, how would they like your support?
- Be sure to ask, whether that's by talking to students whom you know, attending part of a GSA meeting (with advance permission, of course), or any other way you can contact them.
- Listen closely to what they say.
- Compensate them for their time and expertise by offering a meal, snacks, gift cards, cash, or something similar.
- Once you have their guidance, follow up on their suggestions.
- Can you support them openly? Or will you need to provide them behind-the-scenes support? Your school and community climate will help determine that.
- Come out! If possible, let you administrators know in advance, so they can be ready to have your back and aren’t taken by surprise.
- Put pictures of your partner/spouse in your office or on your desk. If you have kids, include them, too, especially if you have a family portrait of all of you together.
- Remember that you will be a role model. Embrace that role.
- Tell your queer and trans students (and the straight/cis ones, too) about your life.
- Smile or otherwise acknowledge queer and trans young people when you see them in the halls...
- ...unless doing so would risk outing them (for instance, if you're widely known to be LGBTQA+/SGL), in which case you should wait for them to acknowledge you first.
- This is something to ask them about directly so you know what they'd be most comfortable with.
- Provide your queer and trans students a safe space to let off steam or to confide in you about the challenges they may be facing.
- Listen to their stories and learn about their lives.
- However, educators need to be clear with students about requirements regarding mandatory outing.
- If you must legally report a young person if they come out to you as queer or trans, tell all of your students upfront.
- This topic would be a good one to discuss with your administrators.
- Additionally, don't out your students to their peers or to their own parents; but see the caveat immediately above regarding what you might have to do based on your local laws. Just because a student feels safe to come out to you doesn't mean they have a safe home of social life.
For LGBTQA+/SGL educators in a hostile school or community
Everything below should be read as being preceded by “If you can do so without getting fired or disciplined…"
- Come out if at all possible.
- Tell your queer and trans students about your life.
- Listen to their stories and learn about their lives.
- Empathize and sympathize with them when possible.
- Educators need to be clear with students about requirements regarding mandatory outing, including if your school requires you to out students to their parents.
- If you must legally report a young person if they come out to you, tell all of your students upfront at the beginning of the school year and then tell any new students who join later in the year.
- This topic would be a good one to discuss with any queer- or trans-positive administrators you may have. They may have guidance based upon your local or state restrictions.
I'm referring to those terrible “don't say gay” laws, which are very new, with most passing in 2022 and 2023.
Your students have a right to know what you're barred from discussing with them.
- If your school prohibits you from discussing sexual orientation or gender identity in general with the students you teach, tell all of your classes at the beginning of the school year and any new students who join later in the year.
- If you cannot speak openly to students about LGBTQA+/SGL lives and identities, come up with a code that will allow you both to talk without getting either of you in trouble. Perhaps you need to have conversations with a student about butterflies or relationships between parents and children in ancient Mesopotamia….
- Note that this code is not something to announce to all of your students; reveal it only to those who need it.
- Advocacy organizations and educators are still figuring out how to navigate this new world of blatantly, shamelessly queer- and trans-antagonistic policies. The resources below may be a good starting point.
Other ideas for LGBTQA+/ SGL adults
Other ideas for LGBTQA+/SGL adults
