How Adults Can Use Their Hearing to Learn From Queer & Trans Youth

This page offers ways for adults to use their hearing to support queer and trans young people,

Listen to young people

To their stories
To their songs
To their tears
To their joys

Listen especially if what they're saying challenges your thinking or worldview.

Listen to grow and understand.

Check out the adult resources section for a place to start.

"I feel like cis people are still in a gender 101 class, whereas a lot of trans people are getting gender master's degrees."

Phi is an Asian American teen. They have long, dark hair and are wearing a black shirt, and are pictured against a purplish-pink background.

"Phi is an Asian American, autistic, and queer student activist, artist, and organizer from the California Bay Area." You can read more about them here: "Youth Voices – Class of 2024."

Especially listen if they come out to you

Congratulate them on the work it's taken them to get to this point.
Say something along the lines of, "Thanks so much for trusting me with that information. I know what that label means generally. What does it mean to you?" Then listen fully and openly to their response.
- (Thanks to Page of the Common Goodness Project for this fantastic suggestion.)
Tell them that you'll be there for them as they grow more into themselves.
Assure them you'll support them if their identity changes — including if they shift back into seeing themselves as straight or cis.
If you're a part of LGBTQA+/SGL communities, perhaps mention briefly that there were times when your own identity changed.
But, overall, keep the conversation focused on where they want it to go.
Know that it could be a brief talk or a very long discussion.
It also could be a one-time thing or a topic that the young person returns to again and again.
When in doubt, follow their lead!

A critical word of caution about hearing and seeing

Learn More

Photo by Tim Samuel.